THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD
Unity Valkyrie Mitford: August 8,1914 - May 28, 1948
i.
the first time I saw him
my hand shook with such a violence
the tea spilled
he spoke so calmly in the Osteria, it was June
he sat with friends beneath the pergola:
still, it was, as if the world did not revolve around him
they said I'd always been a serious, awkward girl,
he made me beautiful
I sat at his feet and he stroked my hair:
never been so happy in my life
there is a bullet in the middle of my brain. now
please tell me who I am
ii.
conceived in Swastika, named Unity Valkyrie,
what else did they expect of me?
Farve read one book:
it was so good he never read another.
Muv had seven babies; only one a boy:
we girls were not allowed to go to school,
there was the library, Nanny Blor
the governesses, we had no need for more
I loved Harrod's Zoo:
bought a snake, a rat, and a salamander there
Farve fetched a pony home in a taxi,
it was jolly good fun
when we were short of money
Muv gave up napkins,
we were not to let the food touch our lips,
the sound of tines against teeth at every meal
and me loading in the mashers and the chocs,
my teeth so brown and strange
they looked like Stonehenge
Muv raised chickens to pay for the governess
and Farve went prospecting in Swastika
From Batsford Mansion to Asthall Manor to
Swinbrook House to Old Mill Cottage
that's how it was with us Mitfords
we were debutantes
iii.
Decca and I had a language
she was my Boud, I was her Boud
she said I was uuge and objegzionable
we would argue to tears and then she'd shout
gommid id when she'd had enough
I really did my best,
I wanted so badly to die
there in the Englischer Garten,
in the calm afternoon of summer
on a bench at the end of the path
iv.
Diana, most beautiful of sisters,
took me to the Parteitag.
She was in love with Oswald Mosley
and I was just nineteen.
there were hundreds of thousands at Nuremberg,
my body was electric
the Führer's splendor pouring through me
I was an angel in Bavaria
in the photographs before, I hid my teeth
nothing caught my attention until now
Muv was pleased:
a finishing school in Munich
such a good idea for her Bobo
I learned the language swiftly
because the Führer knew no English
I could do the salute everywhere
that arm clicking up to the sky like a warm machine
even my heels were eager,
my lipstick bright as flame
they said that Jews were being beaten
Jolly good, serves them right,
we should go and cheer, I said
v.
I found out what he liked, where he ate
and I ate there too
at a table by myself, book in hand
Muv made me come home for a rest,
I shared a room with my Boud
her side littered with the Daily Worker,
mine had swastikas on the wall
and photos of the Führer, framed
Decca said she would hide a pistol in her pocket
just to shoot him dead
at the parties and balls I played yoyo
and carried sweet Ratular on my neck
I talked about my friends,
how Julius Streicher brought the Jews up from the cellar
and had them eat grass
but darling, he was a kitten, Diana said,
such a sweetheart with his shining head
some kind of jewel
I think he loved me, Streicher
there were many likely men in Munich,
those darling Storms,
but I waited only for my Führer
would have done anything he asked
vi.
February 9 1935:
when he came in I saw him glance my way,
how many times had he seen me there,
cream cakes on the table,
my solemn eyes
Deutelmoser came and asked if I would care to join them
I walked over and the Führer stood up and saluted,
he shook my hand and introduced me to the others:
I sat there for more than half an hour
I don't remember all the things we spoke of:
I said he should come to England,
he said he'd love to but perhaps it was unwise,
there might be a revolution if he did
had I ever been to Bayreuth for the Wagners?
No I said, but I should like to,
he told his men to remember this next time
he knew London from his architecture studies,
loved Cavalcade best of all films,
said how good the roads were in Germany.
and then he signed a postcard: to Fraulein Unity Mitford
as a friendly memento of Germany
and Adolf Hitler
he paid my bill
and left
I am the luckiest girl in the world,
he is the greatest man of all time
vii.
I'm a big blonde girl
with a big blonde body
and I want no one touching it
I like to wait
and when rewarded by a meeting
my heart rises up like a zeppelin,
all the banners waving and the anthems,
the crowds of lovely marching boys in step
I talked to him about difficult things
about how people still supported Jews
or how they didn't believe everything the Führer said
I worshipped him,
there was no one else.
I was never a nice girl
I made Party members disappear
I made them all frightened of my words
I talked and talked
viii.
140: that was the number of times I met with him
in all those busy years I don't know how he ever found the time
and his smile when he saw me,
his face would melt with tenderness, Diana saw it too:
you two here? he'd say, and he'd be happy
with him we went to the Olympics, to Bayreuth,
(his favourite was Parsifal)
we'd sit next to Eva, the looks she'd give me!
she didn't understand, it was never like that
between us.
we'd talk sweetly about pets and music
I didn't like it when he talked of cars
but there was much we had no need to discuss:
I made it crystal clear in my letter to Der Stürmer:
If you have room in your paper for my letter,
please publish my name in full…
I want everyone to know I am a Jew hater
Muv and Farve ordered me home for the summer
I had their full attention now
when I came back to Munich,
Muv met the Führer, of course she found him charming,
and Tom was content, saluting everywhere
ix.
Decca was a Communist
Diana was a Fascist
Nancy was a volunteer
Debo had a wild time with young boys at the Ritz
Tom was a brownshirt
Pam opted out
Farve hated the beastly Hun
Muv thought them marvellous
and then there was Austria, Sudetanland, Poland,
those panzers rolling in and the beautiful Storms dying,
everyone was leaving
they begged me to go home
but I believed it would never come to blows,
our two great nations always meant to be together,
but on the 3rd of September the consulate called me round,
they handed me a telegram saying it was war
I no longer knew what happiness was.
I wrote a letter: I send my best love to you all
and particularly to my Boud
and I drove to the Englischer Garten
it was beautiful there and so green
I put my little silvered gun against my temple
and I pulled the trigger
Muv said I was the first casualty of the war
now I have a bullet in my brain
and a shattered heart
x.
my Führer came to see me in the hospital
he brought flowers, said he'd pay all the bills,
that they were to care for me, care,
I put my Party badge deep in my mouth
and swallowed that golden possibility
I tried again and again
but nothing worked
and they sent me home on a train
I called the sugar chocolate, the salt I called tea
but we were so happy, the three of us,
just Muv, Farve and me
xi.
incontinent and clumsy
impatient and angry
I had no concentration,
I limped and staggered
I spilled and dropped my food.
Farve could not bear to see me eat,
he shouted at Muv and then
he just packed up his things and moved away
Muv hired a daily
to wash my sheets each morning
I biked around the village singing hymns
I became a Christian Scientist
loving God as sweetly as a child
reporters hated that I looked so well,
I went to Debo's wedding and my gloves were very clean
they couldn’t see beneath my fringe:
the scar a sort of wormhole,
they said I should be put away
like Diana, like Mosley,
I was despised
everyone came to see me 'cept my Boud, my Decca,
she lived in America and they wanted to pay her money
but she never told a soul my story
I was her huge, bright adversary she said
xii.
Decca had a baby who died,
Debo's baby was born dead,
Diana had four babies
Tom died in Burma
one of the last casualties of the war
I was all alone with Muv
and she was good to me,
never lost her temper once
though she missed Farve and I was
beastly
all the time
that old bullet started rumbling in 1948
when I looked up and said I'm coming
Muv's heart sank
I had a seizure
that night I died at last
no one had ever had such a happy young life
as I did up until the war |
